Vietnam Do’s and Don’ts: 10 Unwritten Rules That Every Vietnamese Person Knows

Maybe a guy on a motorbike squeezes into your bubble when traffic is stopped, cutting you off. Maybe someone else gets their food first at the street-food vendor, or maybe it’s an actual legal transgression, such as being asked for extra money to get your visa stamped, or an exchange with a traffic cop who wants you to line his pockets. (Yes, these are all real-life examples.) Whatever it is, keep your cool.

Beyond generic noise—think soup-slurping or engine-revving or loud conversations on public transit—the Vietnamese don’t tend to make scenes. It’s more common not to appear overly emotional, and to let most things slide. But what’s more, keeping your cool will be best for your mental health, too.

In all that hot sun, the Vietnamese answer—especially for women—is to cover up, not to shed layers. This goes double if you’re somewhere like a waterpark, where you won’t see bikinis; or a temple or place of worship, where the rules are to cover your knees and shoulders.

If you’re unsure what to do, simply carry an extra lightweight layer with you in your bag. Bust it out whenever you do a quick scan and can’t find any bare shoulders.

Say you catch someone telling you a white lie, such as giving you directions you know aren’t correct. Your best response: Don’t bother calling them on it. Some Vietnamese people are more likely to stretch the truth than to admit they don’t know an answer; it’s about “saving face.” Let it go, and let them keep their dignity.

This is also to say, if you get false information and end up misled, try not to be upset after the fact, with them or with yourself. Just know that it’s a possibility, and you’ll be as prepared as you can be.

When you enter a local’s home—or a temple or anywhere sacred—be ready to take off your shoes. It’s a sign of respect and a sign of propriety and cleanliness. Odds are you’ll see your host’s shoes at the door, solving any question about where to place yours.

If and when you’re offered tea, take it. Even if you don’t want it, take it. Your host is trying to be polite and wants to show you hospitality—it’s as standard as receiving a complimentary glass of water. And, indeed, the tea is very, very light.

In a sense, “tea” is a metaphor—if you’re offered something small, like a cup of soup, take it and be grateful for the token of appreciation. (Of course, it’s most polite to slurp it up, and loudly at that.)

If you’re at the market showing interest in an object, you can expect the shopkeeper to be ready to offer you a price—“just for you.” There often is no set price; the vendor is reading you, often expecting you to come back with a lower offer. Be prepared to pay a hefty tourist tax, especially if you don’t speak Vietnamese (a little Vietnamese goes a long way to getting better deals.). Prices will be even higher at touristy hubs like Ben Thanh Market in Ho Chi Minh City.

If the vendor’s final offer still seems over-the-top, don’t say so. Like mentioned above, don’t make a scene. Simply say không (no) and cảm ơn (thank you), and walk away.

Insider tip: This goes for vendors of all kinds, from art to clothing to rice to watermelon. At food markets where prices are posted, you can often get good deals by buying in bulk.

You’ll see Vietnamese teenagers holding hands all the time—with a sense of freedom about gender and coupling. But serious PDA, like kissing, can be frowned upon in many public spaces.

If you’re here with your partner, keep things PG. Small tokens of affection, like hugging or an arm around the shoulder, are certainly appropriate, but try to keep all PDA to behaviors you’d feel comfortable with in front of your second-grade teacher.

If you’re trying to get off an elevator, the crowd may come on before you can get off. If you’re staying in traffic on the road, someone will drive on the sidewalk. If you expect an apology or a thank you, you might not get one.

That’s not a judgment of which society is better or worse—politeness and manners are just interpreted differently. You’ll cope best if you let go of your assumptions about etiquette and roll with the Vietnamese punches. After all, they’re rolling with yours.

Imagine America going from 1820 to 2020 in a generation. That’s Vietnam—its culture is changing faster than Hollywood could ever portray, and its younger generations are growing up in a completely different world than their grandparents.

Some locals you run into may have zero hang-ups about your showing cultural decorum; others may expect you to do things “correctly,” such as handling your chopsticks (resting them on top of your bowl when finished, for example, and not sticking them upright in your rice). It all depends on who you’re around and what they’re used to.

And traffic rules? Those were definitely made to be broken.

There are two reasons to not flaunt your wealth: First, it’s frowned upon. The Vietnamese tend to be a culture steeped in humility, though that’s changing every day (see: bars where expensive alcohol is ordered just to have it set on the table, within eyesight). But in a local’s home, you’re best off still abiding by this one. Dress simply, don’t be too high-maintenance, and you’ll be golden.

Secondly, in Vietnam’s biggest cities—like in many big cities—if you flaunt your wealth, it may be taken from you. Do your best to not carry a purse, always lock up your motorbike if you have one, and don’t wear obviously expensive jewelry that talented pickpockets could slip off you. If you are carrying a purse, be aware of your surroundings at all times. A few seconds’ notice can make all the difference.